I'm ready for the terms 'alternative country' and 'alt-country' to be retired, immediately and forever. For that matter 'alt' preceding any other word belongs to the 20th century, let's leave it there. I much prefer the older term cowpunk anyway, it just sounds better, more ferocious, more pastoral, more American.

I have another quibble. The term 'genre-bending' should forthwith be dismissed from public usage. It's an awkward construction, and it makes no earthly sense when applied to music.

I won't belabor the subject, because the Old 97s are coming to town and they prove my point better than any argument I could conjure.  

The Old 97s are a rock band, but they've obviously listened to their share of old school country and, yes, cowpunk too.

They have seven records to their credit, their latest being perhaps their best. There was a time though when they seemed to run out of steam, and the band took a hiatus.

Thus began a murky time. Front man and primary songwriter Rhett Miller put out two records under his own name. His solo career was the usual music business crapshoot.

There were photographs of Miller with guitar in hand standing in some inexplicable locale, looking like a marketer's sexual fantasy -- handsome, earnest, thoughtful.

It seemed to confuse fans and the remaining bands members alike. But they were able to work out their differences.

A few years ago, Miller and Ryan Adams traded barbs through the media. Unlike Adams, Miller seems genuinely too nice a person to do the mercenary killing, gutting and skinning required to carve out a successful solo career.

Now, a few years older, he has discarded the solo thing for now, and rounded up the lads to set about doing what they do best.

Among all these accomplishments, one stands out. Miller recently appeared on Fresh Air with Terry Gross, heard locally on WCVE.

Something truly remarkable happened during the interview -- Gross was transformed from her usual whip-smart, composed, professional interviewer into a giggling school girl barely able to contain her crush.

It was charming in its way.

Richmond.com -- I listened to you on Fresh Air with Terry Gross.

Rhett Miller -- Yeah, Terry is a sweetheart.

RDC -- It sounded like things got … chummy in the studio. She seemed very taken with you.

RM -- She's quite the cougar! Off the leash. You can't tell it from her voice, but she's taller and much cuter than she sounds on the radio.  

RDC -- You had a rather public feud with Ryan Adams a few years ago. Since then his career has taken off, and yours not so much. How do you feel about him now?

RM -- Ryan Adams is a punk. I mean how many records do you have to release in one year? He's putting out any crap that comes into his drug-filled noggin. Everyone knows he is a prima donna and notoriously hard to work with. And then he comes out and says -- "O I was a drug addict, I was an alcoholic, that explains my behavior." I'll tell you what explains his behavior -- he's an [deleted] [deleted] with a [deleted] for a [deleted], and I would gladly [deleted] his [deleted] any old time."

RDC -- Wow, you seem bitter about him.

RM -- He dates movies stars; he lives in Manhattan; he wears those really tight skinny jeans. What a [deleted]! His arms are like spaghetti noodles. He's got a woman's body, I tell you. I'm from the big D [Dallas], I'm a Texan. We know a man from a woman.

RDC -- Okay. Well, moving on. Let's talk about your home life. You are married and have two kids at home. What's that like?

RM -- It's beautiful man. The other morning my daughter, who's only a little over two-years-old, looked at me and said, "Daddy, why is the government using tax payer funds to bail out corporate criminals who knowingly broke the law to enrich themselves?" Isn't that something? She's gonna be a heartbreaker, I tell you. Kids are great. Another mouth to feed really gets the old Darwinian juices flowing, if you know what I mean. I'd do anything for my kids. I'd put out three crappy solo albums in one year if I had to just to put food on the table.

RDC -- What do you think about Richmond?

RM -- I love those Richmond women. Holy cow, you got something in the water down there? The downtown's looking good, I'm really into the tear-it-down-and-they-will-come aesthetic. You cats are freaking crazy.

RDC -- Well that seems like a good stopping point. Thanks for your time.

[Writer's note: Repeated calls to Old 97s management team were not returned, but I hope this gets back to them in New York. I'm calling you out Brady Brock. This interview did not really happen. I made it up out of whole cloth.] 

The Old 97s will be at Toad's Place Sunday, July 27. Show starts at 7:30 p.m. Tickets are $18 in advance, $20 day-of.