Scorpio -- October 23 to November 21

Spending large amounts of money has been your problem lately. However, buying winter clothes should be something you need to consider instead of eating out every night.

Sagittarius -- November 22 to December 21

If you’ve ever thought you have a voice that needs to be heard, now’s your chance. Stand in a closet with all of last year's clothes and shout it out loud and proud, "I will not look bad this year, I will not look bad this year."

Capricorn -- December 22 to January 19

It is very apparent that you’re uncomfortable in your own skin. Go out and buy new furniture for your karma, and not that Haynes crap either, something sleek and elegant. Blood run leather will do nicely.

Aquarius -- January 20 to February 18

If you’ve ever wanted to sell “that annoying friend” in your entourage down the river, now is the perfect time to do it. It's kick the children and grandma out of the life raft time, survival of the fittest. And yes, those are shark fins in the water, but that is not your concern now is it?

Pisces -- February 19 to March 20

Everybody has their limits and this week you should test those limits.  Surprise those around you and enjoy some local fame.

Aries -- March 21 to April 19

Finish that novel you’ve been working since you were a teenager. Nobody may care but at least you finished it.

Taurus -- April 20 to May 20

Your love life is like the financial system, founded on a myth and with no gold standard backing it up. I suggest you bail yourself out by get gloriously drunk.

Gemini -- May 21 to June 21

That zombie invasion your friend keeps warning you about may be a joke but at least humor him or her for some of your own laughs.

Cancer -- June 22 to July 22

Start complimenting those around you instead of silently judging them. People like to know what they are doing right and what they are doing wrong.